Selected Quotes from The
Church's Ministry with Families, A Practical Guide
by Diana S. Richmond Garland &
Diane L. Pancoast. Word, 1990.
Definitions and tasks
Family ministry includes any
services provided by a church or church agency, whether by a helping
professional or a nonprofessional volunteer, which aim to strengthen the
relationships between family members (p. 4).
The focus in not on individuals but
on the actual or targeted interaction between individuals. This definition of family ministry
involves both perspective and programs (p. 8).
"Minister" is synonymous
with Christian; every Christian is a minister, expected to help others
(p. 4).
We present a social work perspective
on the issues, possibilities, and practice of family ministry....Social work hs
the purpose of maintaining and enhancing the psychosocial functioning of
individuals, families, and small groups "by maximizing the availability of
needed intrapersonal, interpersonal, and societal resources" (p. 6).
Family ministry needs to be
integrated into the life of the church rather than being one more program among
many others (p. 6). There must be
an overarching conceptual definition of family ministry against which to
evaluate programs (p. 7). [A] dual focus of prevention and services to troubled
families (p. 7).
Strengthening the social networks of
the family, family advocacy, and the intervention in social structures and
communities have received little attention from family ministry (p. 7).
Family ministry has two major tasks:
(1) Providing programs and (2) critically evaluating its own as well as other
ministries of the church in light of their impact on family relationships. Perspective without program is empty;
program without perspective is purposeless (p. 8).
A healthy balance must be maintained
among the ministry foci of relationships, individuals, and communities and
social institutions. To allow the pendulum to swing to an exclusive emphasis on
relationships and disregard either individuals (individual autonomy,
responsibilities and spiritual development) or the larger community and social
issues (concerns for world peace, social justice, and the impact of humanity on
the world's ecology) unbalances the overall ministry of the church (p. 9).
The Bible...offers little support for
defining a strong nuclear family as the goal of Christian relationships. Nuclear family terms ─ parent,
child, brother, and sister ─ are common in Scripture, but they are not used to limit
family to nuclear relationships.
Instead, they prescribe how God's people are to relate to one another across
the sociological boundaries of family units Jesus said that his family was defined
not by biological ties but by the community of faith (Mark 3:33-35)...(p.
10)...
Jesus believed that the call of God
surpassed the call of family, but one should not conclude that Jesus depreciated
the value of family or the need for family members to care for one another (p.
26)...Jesus had come not to destroy the family but to fulfill God's intention
for the family. No longer is it to be a self-serving kin group; instead, it is
to be the source of nurture and the channel of God's love for all of God's
children.
Those who for various reasons have
been deprived of traditional family relationships now can belong to a family (p.
30)...Family ministry should be cautious not to elevate the significance of
family relationship over the relationship between the individual and God....The
will of God can be done within the structure of the biological family it can
also be done without the structure of the family...When we celebrate family in
the church, we first need to celebrate the family of faith...[In] the New
Testament...family is not regarded as a retreat from the world but as a place
where service can be rendered to the world...a significant perspective for
evangelism (p. 32)...Churches are not simply family service agencies (p. 33).
The focus of the Bible is the
communal nature of the church.
Nuclear family boundaries are to be opened and Christians encouraged to
invite others into their personal networks and families, not shut them
out....We would suggest, therefore, that, for the purposes of family ministry,
family is more usefully defined as the relationships through which persons
meet their needs for intimacy, sharing of resources, tangible and intangible
help, commitment, responsibility, and meaningfulness over time and contexts
(pp. 10-11).
With this definition of families,
then, the tasks for ministry with families become identifiable as:
1.
Strengthening the relationships among ecological family members.
2.
Providing a catalyst for the development of new family relationships and the
successful navigation of family developmental stages...Church programs and
structures can provide opportunities for family-like relationships to be
initiated...Provide contexts...
3.
Advocating in behalf of ecological families and social networks in church
structures, in the development and assessment of church programs, and in other
structures of society....Family ministry needs to be concerned with the social
issues that create the stresses and strains that cause the headaches of family
troubles (p. 14 f.).
Family ministry perspectives and
programs can be incorporated into all aspects of the church's mission, although
they do not dominate and one [e.g.]: Evangelism and worship, fellowship,
service (p. 79).
Developmental Issues
The family grows and changes in
response to developmental tasks of its members, adapting and reacting to the
complex interplay among the developmental issues of family members at different
stages of the life cycle People adjust better to developmental changes when
they know what to expect. And a church can minister more effectively to
families if it understands the developmental crises and issues which families face
(p. 35)...Many family ministry programs have focused on providing education and
crisis intervention designed to help families understand and cope more
effectively with both normative and non-normative family development tasks (p.
36)...Educational programs that help them understand the relational processes
they are experiencing (p. 49).
A Networking Focus
Two stumbling blocks to a church's
ministry include a reactive style of planning ministry in general and the
tendency for clergy to focus on a one-on-one approach to caring....It is very
difficult, if not impossible, for the minister to do all of the caring
needed...(pp. 145-146).
The challenge...is to understand the
pain, provide offerings of love and support, and, finally, provide avenues for
service (p. 152)....Sometimes the pastor just has to get out of the way and let
the lay-people be the ministers they're called to be (p. 166).
House churches and home-cell groups
form seed-beds for ecological families to grow...provide opportunities for
people of a variety of ages, interests, and needs to mingle with one another
and to interact in meaningful ways....intentional creating of
relationships...that provides that which is normally only available to us as
biological children...actively seek to provide fertile ground for the
development of adoptive family relationships in the community of faith
P. 47).
Most people seem to have between six
and ten persons in their intimate circle (p. 59)...The part of the network that
involves less intimate ties varies more in size (p. 60)...Some people appear to
be hubs of a great deal of network activity while others are more on the
periphery...We need to know how to maximize the potential of such settings in
our increasingly impersonal world (p. 61)...It is especially important for
church leaders to cultivate weak ties continuously in order to keep the church
responsive to its environment and to reach out to new people and ideas which
can contribute to the continual renewal of the congregation (p. 62).
Donald Warren developed one very
useful application of network concepts, problem-anchored helping networks
(PAHNs). Instead of focusing on the
ongoing relationships in a network...he highlights the process of mobilization
to respond to a particular problem (p. 63).
A church wanting to provide a social
environment which facilitated the problem solving of its members would have the
following characteristics:
• A general climate which encouraged people to
draw upon each other for help and which legitimated many different ways of
helping
• A variety of helpers with a variety of helping
styles
• Members who were willing and able to serve as
effective links to outside resources such as professional services
Churches should seek to strengthen
the following characteristics in their congregations:
• Economic and occupational diversity.
• Stability: rapid turnover in membership makes it
difficult to form relationships.
• Moderate density: the congregation should be
sufficiently large to allow for a variety of relationships
among the members. The church should provide a number of behavior settings
in which relationships can be formed.
• Integration into the larger society.
• Ties to professional sources of help through
members of the congregation.
A religious setting provides a common
ground for people to come together to explore their mutual needs: to help as
well as be helped, to care for as well as be taken care of. Ecological family relationships can be
fostered in a church setting to build stronger, more flexible families that can
meet the challenges of today's society (p. 69).
For example, a parenting course in a
church often includes participants who are potential or actual friends who can
continue to support and encourage one another in any new parenting skills (p.
74)...Parent education has been extremely popular in churches...focus on
teaching parents knowledge, attitudes, and skills deemed functional for child
rearing...An ecological perspective suggests, however, that in addition to
knowledge of child development and skills for instilling valued characteristics
in their children, parents need skills in dealing with other significant
relationship in their children's environment and in developing relationships
which support their parenting (p. 92).
Children and adolescents need
relationship with other adults in addition to their parents. Two parents are not enough...(p.
93)...Margaret Mead has said, "The continuity of all cultures depends on
the living presence of at least three generations" (p. 177)...[Yet], the
history of our country has been one of increasing separation and individuation
(p.177).
Research supports a significant
correlation between a strong network and healthy, effective parenting...those
with high levels of support were more affectionate, closer, and more positive
with their children, while those with low levels of support were more hostile,
indifferent, and rejecting (p. 93)....Children need a network of adults with
whom to relate: parents of peers, single persons, married persons without
children, older adults, and both kin and non-kin. Such a network provides a
child with security, respite from parents, additional life models and a source
of developing identity (p. 94)....60% of suburban children reported no such
relationship with an adult (p. 95).
Creating parent networks can be a
major goal of family ministry (p. 96)....A major effort needs to be made to
counteract the popular assumption in our society that a healthy family is a
nuclear family which is independent of the extended family....families need to
hear that it is healthy to need one another (p. 97). How to develop parent
networks (p. 98 f.):
1.
Sermons and educational materials.
2.
Cross-generational programs.
3.
Dedication of families [blessing of little children].
Therapeutic
prescriptions hold much more potential for change if they are presented in
repetitive, ritualized ways, ways that contain drama and demand attention (p.
116).
4.
Blessing of family bonds.
5.
Teaching network skills to parents at risk.
6.
Linking parents at risk with networks.
7.
Developing self-help and support groups.
The small rural
community church most likely exemplifies churches that approximate natural
support systems By contrast, the
large urban church, which attracts persons from all over ta city because of a
dynamic preacher or special programs, is least likely to be characterized as a
natural support system. In such
churches, people may have few or no connections with one another other than
attendance at worship services; they do not work together, go to the same
schools, or live in the same neighborhood...(p. 81).
Natural Helpers
Six types of informal
helpers (pp. 67-68):
1.
Social intimates: family and friends
2.
Neighbors
3.
Natural helpers.
4.
Role-related helpers.
5.
People with similar problems.
6.
Volunteers (channelled through a formal organization).
Researchers identify
natural helpers by this criterion: that they are nominated as a helping person
by at least three people who know them (p. 211).
Church leaders who
recognize natural helpers in their congregations and see the value of
supporting and enhancing their efforts can serve as a major source of aid and
comfort for them (p. 217) [by providing]:
1.
Spiritual enrichment
2.
Linking helpers (being a facilitator)
3.
Providing access to information and advice
4.
Providing respite or substitute care
Church leaders do not
need to feel that they must meet all the needs personally. One of their most important functions is
to serve as a link between natural helpers and other parts of the formal
service network. This linkage
models the usefulness of referral for the natural helper's own network (p.
222).
Principles for
training and supervising family ministry volunteers (p. 226):
1. Respect their natural
helping capacity and skills.
2. Empower them.
3. See them as only
one of many potential resources in a family's life.
4. Give them ongoing
support, consultation and supervision.
5. Give them
experiential training.
6. Provide support,
advocacy and linkage to other resources.